Ok so as you'll soon find out, not all of my journal entries will have a "subject". It could simply be me just saying things that have been on my mind for a while. Some of them I'll submit as poems, and others will be as such and will be "blogs" or journals. So here goes....

I don't want to say I'm jealous,
because truthfully I'm not.
I just worry if I truly have you,
or if someone else has stolen your heart.
I don't want to think about it,
because I hate thinking of being alone.
Why can't we just be one?,
and stop all this worry from my mind.
Just hold me in your arms,
tell me everything is going to be fine.
Assure me this is just a bad dream,
and release me from all this torment.
My heart aches as I hear you,
I wonder if me thoughts are right.
Could this be my nightmare come true?,
the final curtain night?
Kill me now and let me soul sleep,
if all I promised you was all in vain.
My heart can't take this pain,
too many times I've been crushed.
I don't try to set myself up for disaster,
I never ask for these things to happen.
For those who are so close,
those few I let beyond the fences to my heart.
To take what little sanity and life I have left,
and obliterate it without a second thought.
I don't want to think ill of you,
because truthfully I can't bring myself to.
Don't hate me for those these thoughts,
it's my fault for trusting too soon.
I shouldn't have let you in,
shouldn't have been so blind not to see.
Though all those we know speak differently,
saying we are the real thing and what it's all about.
What if they're wrong?,
What if I was wrong all along?
How could I have been such a fool,
to take you in knowing so little.
All I want to do is cry,
scream out in agony as my heart breaks once more.
Am I meant to be alone?,
or so I just feel as though I'm cursed.
I don't want to feel any more pain,
I'm so far gone it seems a miracle to bring me back.
Please let this all be a bad dream,
let all my worries just be that.
Let it be that in the morning you can be here,
and that all of this just be one big fear.